Shame, Accountability, and Aligning With My Purpose

by Iya Omi 

When I came home from prison, my father told me something I wasn’t ready to absorb, but it planted itself in me anyway. We were talking — cautiously, gently, trying to reconnect — when he looked at me and said:

“Don’t let your life become the sum of one mistake.”

It landed quietly, like a seed meant to bloom later.

Fast forward a few years, when I met my godmother and sat for my very first reading. I didn’t know what to expect — I was nervous, curious, spiritually hungry.

But what the Orisha told her to tell me struck the same deep place my father had touched:

“You have been forgiven.
Now it’s time for you to forgive yourself.”

Between my father’s earthly wisdom
and Spirit’s divine confirmation,
I was given a truth I wasn’t yet strong enough to hold:

I wasn’t being asked to forget my past.
I was being asked to stop branding myself with it.

I was being asked to stop punishing myself.
To stop shrinking.
To stop living like a walking consequence.

I was being asked to come back to myself.

Those two messages — one from flesh, one from Spirit — became the foundation of the last decade of my life, and the spiritual backbone of these last few months as I’ve been rising, healing, shedding, and remembering exactly who I am.

Part One: The Mistake That Could Have Taken My Life Somewhere Else

I’ve been through things that left me wounded, abandoned, silent, and confused.
And like many women, I have made decisions shaped by trauma, exhaustion, lack of support, and a deep misunderstanding of my own worth.

Years ago, I was entrusted with something someone else had worked very hard for — and I violated that trust.
I crossed a boundary I should never have crossed.
I made a choice that hurt others and hurt me.
A choice that carried real consequences.

And I want to be clear:

I am accountable for every mistake I’ve made in my life.

There are no excuses for breaking the law.
There is no justification strong enough to make it “okay.”
But there are circumstances that explain the mindset that leads to certain choices.

Because when you’re working from a place of lack —
not just financial lack, but emotional, spiritual, and personal lack —
your judgment becomes distorted.

A lack of respect for yourself.
A lack of respect for your own potential.
A lack of respect for what someone else built.
A lack of understanding that you do not have the right to benefit from someone else’s hard work.
A lack of maturity in realizing that while some actions do not leave visible scars, they create emotional ones —
and sometimes the scars we don’t see are the ones that hurt the worst.

These are hard truths.
They were hard for me to face.
But facing them was part of my accountability —
and part of my transformation.

Understanding my mindset didn’t excuse the harm.
But it helped me understand why I was capable of causing it.
And that understanding is what allowed me to grow from it.

The details aren’t important here.
The transformation is.

The situation spiraled into legal consequences.
I served time.
I came home carrying shame big enough to suffocate a person’s spirit.

But even then, Spirit had not abandoned me.
My father had spoken truth.
And years later, the Orisha confirmed it:

I was forgiven —
but I had not forgiven myself.

That was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

Part Two: Spirit Sat Me Down Because Purpose Was Calling

Here is the truth:

I’ve tried most things once in my life — enough to know what wasn’t worth repeating.
Enough to know who I wasn’t.
Enough to know that trust, for me, is now sacred.

After everything I had been through, I became fiercely protective of trust — mine and other people’s.
I have worked in positions where trust is essential, and I carry that responsibility with the seriousness of someone who has been divinely corrected.

I would never violate someone’s trust again —
not for money, not for survival, not for anything.

And I believe Spirit had to teach me that lesson the hard way.

Because I had a purpose to fulfill.
I had work to do for women.
I had a priestess path to step into.
I had healing to do.

And I could not access any of that while running from my own shadow.

This is why I believe — wholeheartedly — that the night a friend and I got pulled over wasn’t random.
It wasn’t “bad luck.”
It was Spirit intervening.

It was Spirit saying:

“You’ve avoided this long enough.
You cannot walk into the destiny I created for you with this hanging over your head.
We are clearing this now.”

Spirit was not punishing me.
Spirit was rerouting me.
Redirecting me.
Reclaiming me.

Every painful moment was a push back onto my path.

Part Three: Rebuilding Without Shame

Coming home meant rebuilding everything from the ground up.

My marriage needed repair — not only because of his actions, but because of the impact of mine.
My finances were wrecked.
My confidence was shaky.
My self-worth was fragile.

But those two messages anchored me:

You have been forgiven.
Don’t let your life become the sum of one mistake.

Finding work was difficult.
Trying to run a business while emotionally recovering was harder.
Learning to trust myself again was the hardest.

Alignment Before Assignment

Looking back, I now understand why my business struggled, why I couldn’t fully step into my roles, and why certain things never flowed the way I prayed they would:

I still had inner work to do before Spirit could elevate me.

I wasn’t out of alignment because I was lazy.
I was out of alignment because I was still carrying shame, unfinished healing, and a past I hadn’t made peace with.

You cannot come into your calling from an inauthentic place.
Spirit wasn’t withholding anything from me —
Spirit was waiting for me to become the version of myself who could steward the blessing with integrity.

Understanding Before Forgiveness

And the truth is…
I don’t think I could even receive forgiveness until I understood how my actions impacted the people who trusted me and loved me.

You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge.
And you cannot accept forgiveness for harm you’ve never taken the time to look at.

Once I understood the emotional weight my choices placed on others…
Once I understood the disappointment, the hurt, the breach of trust…
Once I understood the scars my actions created — visible and invisible…

Forgiveness finally had somewhere to land.

Eventually, Spirit opened a door in the most unexpected way — through a vet visit with my dog.
That led to another clinic.
Clients told the owner:

“You need to keep her.”

Eventually I found my way to a very large veterinary hospital, where I was hired, promoted, and trusted to be in a leadership position. 
I gained the respect of my coworkers and supervisors — not because of my history, but because of my excellence.

Today, I work in a position that honors my balance, respects my spirit, and aligns with the woman I’ve become.

Spirit restored everything I thought I ruined.

Part Four: Standing in My Truth

I know that sharing this story may shock some people.
I know some may choose to distance themselves.
That is a risk I take to stand in my truth.

Because people love a fall story —
but not everyone appreciates the lesson, the accountability, or the rise.

But this isn’t for them.

This is for the woman who is locked inside her shame.
The woman who has made choices she regrets.
The woman who believes her life is already written in the worst ink.
The woman who thinks she is her mistake.
The woman who doesn’t think she deserves a second chance.

I hope this story reaches her.
I hope it breaks something open in her.
I hope it shows her that she, too, does not have to become the sum of one mistake.

Part Five: Forgiveness as a Private Ceremony

Forgiveness — real forgiveness — is not something you perform for the world.
It’s not a public apology.
It’s not a performance.
It’s not something you owe to anyone who hurt you.

Forgiveness is a private ceremony you hold within yourself.

You start with you.
You do it for you.
You do it to free yourself.

You forgive yourself for:

• what you did when you didn’t know better

• what you did while trying to survive

• what you did from pain

• what you did from confusion

• the years you spent punishing yourself long after Spirit had forgiven you

I don’t write from superiority.
I write from understanding.

People get derailed.
People get hurt.
People lose their way.

But people also grow.
People evolve.
People rise.

Including you.

If no one else gives you grace, let me offer it:

Your life is not the sum of one mistake.
You are allowed to heal.
You are allowed to start over.
You are allowed to rise.
You are allowed to be free.

Spirit forgave you already.
Now it’s time for you to forgive yourself.